Just call Mike Wallace “Mr. Sixty Minutes.”

Whoa. Did you catch that? Another NFL weekend zoomed by us, but maybe you didn’t catch it if you were one of those people caught up in the massive snow-dump Mother Nature flung on the East Coast. If you weren’t able to dig yourself out, you were in for a treat as this past weekend gave us a veritable jubilee of drama, surprises, and triumphs. We’ll start with the best game of the week, Green Bay at Pittsburgh, before tackling the other 14 games. Feel free to leave your angry/pleasant/skeptical comments in the box provided for such queries below.

THINGS I’M STILL PONDERING…

• We’ll start with The Play. You know which one I’m talking about–Mike Wallace tucked toward the side of the end zone, catching a beautiful back-shoulder pass on a simple fade-stop route with no time remaining on the clock, dime cornerback Josh Bell in decent position but simply unable to keep Wallace from toe-tapping his way to a victory. Remind anyone of another great Steelers catch? We all saw that and marveled at the thrill of the Pittsburgh victory and the heartbreaking reactions by the Packers players, who would have won had football games been invented to last only 59 minutes and 57 seconds. Let’s rewind that drive a bit, though, lest we forget how it came to Roethlisberger’s 18-yard beauty. What about wayyy before that, on fourth down when Roethlisberger connected with Santonio Holmes on a huge 32-yard play? Or what about that interception by Jarrett Bush nullified by an obvious illegal chuck by Brandon Chillar, he of the new contract extension? You could even look no further than the play before the touchdown, when Cullen Jenkins had his hands around Ben Roethlisberger but was unable to bring him to the turf. The result of the play was an incomplete pass, but if Jenkins is able to sack Roethlisberger, the Steelers are unable to stop the clock and the game likely ends on a stellar defensive play instead of an offensive stunner.


Somewhere in Arizona, Larry Fitzgerald is empathizing with Donald Driver’s misery.

• When is 383 yards and 3 passing touchdowns (1 rushing) not enough to win? When the opposing quarterback throws for 503 yards and 3 passing touchdowns of his own. Aaron Rodgers roused the Packers offense, which lacked any consistent running threat, to five scoring drives. Ben Roethlisberger was determined to match Rodgers’ efforts and top them. Despite a tendency of holding the ball too long leading to five Packers sacks, Roethlisberger’s patience and field vision helped him find five different Steelers for pass plays of 25 yards or longer. So much for a defensive struggle, huh? Two of the league’s top-five defenses surrendered a total of 973 net yards, 73 total points, and a whopping 35 points in the final thirteen-and-a-half minutes.
• I don’t know how much longer head coach Mike McCarthy and special teams coach Shawn Slocum can pretend like Mason Crosby is sound fundamentally. He is an absolute liability in the offensive game, an anxiety seen in playcalling as early in the year as the Thanksgiving day game in Detroit, when McCarthy opted to go for a fourth-and-four instead of attempting a makeable field goal. Crosby missed a 34-yarder, well within any NFL kicker’s range, making it the fourth straight game he’s missed a field goal (all of which have been less than 45 yards). The Packers dodged bullets during their five-game win streak, but perhaps none as glaring as the kicking game. Sunday, another three points might have made the difference. Steelers kicker Jeff Reed had the advantage of familiarity, kicking in the swirling winds and tenuous footholds of Heinz Field, and his three field goals helped Pittsburgh keep its season alive. But there’s no reason to suggest that Crosby is any longer a reliable kicker. He’s only had four games this season (only one since week 6!) where he’s made all his field goal attempts. The coaching staff is going to have to seriously consider bringing in kickers for a mid-week tryout. Could installing a kicker off the street really have worse consequences than sticking with Crosby at this point?
• How did this wild and entertaining game affect the playoff picture? For one, it handed Green Bay’s rivals, the Minnesota Vikings, a divisional crown an hour before the Vikings took the field at Carolina for their game. Yet the Packers weren’t going to be serious contenders to snatch the division away; their focus is on securing a wild card berth. Despite the loss, Green Bay is 9-5 and still in the slot for the fifth seed owing to their head-to-head win against Dallas (also 9-5). If the Packers win next week at home against slumping Seattle and Dallas or the New York Giants lose, the Packers clinch a spot. The Steelers ended their five-game losing streak and pumped a little life into their flagging postseason chances. Pittsburgh is now one of six AFC members at 7-7, all of whom are one game back of Denver and Baltimore (both 8-6). The Steelers obviously need to win out to have any chance, and their conference record of 4-6 really puts them at a disadvantage compared to teams like Miami and New York, both of whom are a game better at 5-5. But you can only control so much, and the Steelers can take a big leap forward by beating the Ravens at home next week.

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH…

Bravo! Encore!
Packers/Steelers wasn’t the only game with a thrilling finish. We can start with Saturday’s upset in New Orleans by the Cowboys. Dallas led 24-3 going into the final frame, but as we all know, Drew Brees can orchestrate a scoring drive in a hurry. Brees led the Saints to a touchdown in 3:03, then another in 3:23 after a Cowboys punt. The Saints had one last shot to drive the field and tie the game up, but I guess two minutes with no time outs was a time constraint the Saints had no answers for.

In San Diego, the Bengals played with heavy hearts but nonetheless poured those hearts out taking the Chargers to the limit. Chad Ochocinco had a nice-looking touchdown but Philip Rivers, Antonio Gates, and Vincent Jackson were too much for otherwise solid Bengals CBs Leon Hall and Jonathan Joseph. A booming 52-yard kick by Nate Kaeding was the difference as the Bolts secured another AFC West title, 27-24. That title wouldn’t have been up for grabs if it weren’t for Denver’s loss at home to the Raiders. And who was that leading the winning drive for the Bay Pirates? Not the Human Kielbasa, Bruce Gradkowski, not starting quarterback Charlie Frye, nor was it even J.P. Losman! That would be the much-maligned JaMarcus Russell, coming off the bench to toss a late 10-yard touchdown to Chaz Schilens–yes, that Chaz Schilens who similarly caught the late game-winner in Pittsburgh. (Fun fact: Ben Roethlisberger and Aaron Rodgers combined for more passing yardage five minutes into their game than the Raiders QBs had during their entire sixty minutes.)

Joshua Cribbs, Antonio Gates, James Harrison: what is in the water at Kent State?

Those plucky Titans won their seventh game in eight weeks, besting their fellow wild card candidates the Miami Dolphins in overtime. The Fins scored two touchdowns in the fourth quarter to force the extra frame and even won the coin toss, but when Michael Griffin grabbed Chad Henne’s third interception of the game it set up a win for Tennessee. Finally, we move to Kansas City, where an unlikely emotion emerged from the Browns/Chiefs game: excitement. The two teams came into the week with a combined five yards, but this one looked like a heavyweight slugfest. Joshua Cribbs set the tone with two electrifying kickoff returns of 100+ yards, giving him 8 for his career, a new NFL record. Jamaal Charles continues to pick up the slack that Larry Johnson left behind, rushing for 154 yards on 25 carries and adding a touchdown. But all of that is prelude to the absolutely monster day that Jerome Harrison had: 34 attempts, 286 unbelievable yards, and the final three Browns touchdowns of the day. In the process of lifting Cleveland to a 41-34 win, Harrison broke the team single-game rushing record once held by the immortal Jim Brown.

Because kicking yourself can only go so far…
What’s up with NFL kickers this season? The general benchmark for an NFL kicker is to make no less than 80% of his kicks. Currently, a whopping 14 of 32 (44%) franchises have missed 20% or more of their field goal attempts this year. The list is surprisingly balanced between playoff contenders and also-rans: only 6 of those 14 teams whiffing on kicks have been mathematically eliminated from the playoffs (Detroit, Atlanta, San Francisco, Tampa Bay, Carolina, and St. Louis). Two (Indianapolis and New Orleans) are elite squads who have already locked up first-round byes and three (Green Bay, Baltimore, Cincinnati) are teams on the verge of clinching playoff spots. We’ve already seen two kickers in Baltimore’s Steve Hauschka and Washington’s Shaun Suisham get the axe after high-profile misses late in games cost their teams potential wins. Can Green Bay’s Mason Crosby and Dallas’ Nick Folk really be that far behind?

A minor programming note:
Due to the hubbub of the holiday season, this week’s preview post (also known affectionately as the Six-Pack ’round these parts) will be a bit truncated. You know, gotta find time to wrap (or, uh, purchase) presents, make face time with the family, drink a little nog, so on and so forth. But don’t worry, lovely readers: there will still be a post with a preview of every game nestled under your tree come Friday afternoon, so you can read that when you’ve tired of pretending that you really appreciate that hideous zip-up sweater with the elastic waist your auntie gave you.

THE NO-HUDDLE…

Andre Johnson, the best wide receiver you probably forgot to vote for on your Pro Bowl ballot.

Maybe the Vikings are allergic to Sunday nights. Their 26-7 loss to the Panthers this past Sunday evening along with their loss two weeks ago to Arizona means that on SNF their point differential is -36, and in all other games, it’s +166…Andre Johnson keeps making his case that he might just be the best, if not the most underrated, wide receiver in the league. He caught 9 balls for 196 yards in the Texans too-close win over the Rams, bringing his three-game total to 27 catches, 490 yards and 3 touchdowns…The Lions made things interesting in their loss to the Cardinals, and while it was Kurt Warner and Anquan Boldin who connected for the winning score, the real hero was rookie RB Beanie Wells, who topped the 100-yard mark and strengthened his position as starter over Tim Hightower. Speaking of rookie impacts, the Lions have to be continuously impressed with FS Louis Delmas, who returned a pick 100 yards for a score. He can be out of position and occasionally goes for the highlight-reel hit instead of the sure tackle, but you can see him growing more comfortable in the position each game…The huge snowstorm in the Northeast shifted several games to later slots, meaning most of the region was subjected to the double-whammy snorefest of Falcons/Jets on FOX and Patriots/Bills on CBS. The Falcons and Jets combined for 13 points–in other words, for most of the game, the punt total matched or exceeded the point total. The Patriots beat the Bills 17-10, or did the Bills beat the Bills? 11 penalties for 124 yards and a passing game that refused to go downfield signaled the demise of Buffalo. Tom Brady had an awful day (he combined for 11 passing yards in the first and fourth quarters) but still got the win…From what I caught of the Niners/Eagles game (it was on at the same time as GB/PIT, give me a break), it looked like DeSean Jackson and Asante Samuel were the only players that mattered…The Bears may have wished their delayed flight to Baltimore ultimately got canceled, because the Ravens absolutely smoked them off the field. Joe Flacco tossed four touchdowns – two to fan favorite Todd Heap – and Jay Cutler was intercepted thrice, pushing his league-leading total to 25…Not wanting to be outdone, Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck had the worst day, getting picked off four times en route to an embarrassing home loss to the Buccaneers…

30 SECONDS OF FAME
A lot of disgusting commercials to sift through this week. Lukewarm Wilson was back at it again, debuting in another dribbling AT&T commercial, but I’ve already delved into that realm. Bud Light’s “Tailgate Tested” series misses the mark on so many levels, but criticizing Bud Light’s ad campaigns is too easy. So what have I come up with this week?

I’ve reached my breaking point with Apple’s “Join the Hipster Parade” iPod commercials (does the wardrobe room for that ad agency consist only of skirts and leggings for girls, cardigans and skinny jeans for guys?). The worst inclusion, as my buddy Devin astutely pointed out, is the song “Bourgeois Shangri-La” from artist Miss Li, which sounds like it was written for the sole purpose of being put into an annoying bubbly iPod commercial. If you can tell me what the hell a “bourgeois Shangri-La” would be, apart from a silly attempt at sounding intellectual, let me know.

WHAT I’M WATCHING NEXT WEEK:

Team/Player Photos: Green Bay Packers Team / Player Photos on Jul 25, 2010

There’s a whole slew of games with playoff implications in week 16, so take your pick: Jags at Patriots, Ravens at Steelers, and Texans at Dolphins all require your immediate attention. I’ll be taking a keen interest in the Brian Dawkins Bowl: Broncos at Eagles, the only interconference game with meaning for both the AFC and NFC playoff pictures.

No Thursday night game this week (nor for the rest of the year), so we retire the short-lived but entertaining segment “Special Thunder’s Day Pick!” I assume it was as good for you as it was for me. I hope everyone has a great holiday week full of merriment and myrrh.