Apart from quarterbacking (it’s a word) the Bucs to their first victory of the ‘09 season, Josh Freeman spends his time at the Tampa Diner serving up humble pie.

Wouldn’t it be nice if, at least for one week, football played out exactly the way you thought it would? Favorites would prevail; underdogs would fight hard but ultimately fall; and most importantly, everyone’s favorite team would somehow simultaneously win. Nah – that’d make for boring television, and football is utmost about entertainment! So while a few things are consistent (e.g. Tom Brady and Peyton Manning’s success), we need the topsy-turvy rollercoaster to keep us plugged in. This is my attempt at rationalization after the Packers blew an eleven-point fourth quarter lead to a winless team. Keep believing in the drama. As always, feel free to leave criticisms/complains/questions/praise below, e-mail me at selfserve@gmail.com, or hit me up on Twitter @greenbayblog.

THINGS I’M STILL PONDERING…

• Unbelievable. And I don’t just mean those silky-smooth Creamsicle jerseys (which, by the way, are phenomenally cool again). How could the better team – Green Bay – just implode time after time again? This makes two consecutive years Aaron Rodgers got demolished down in southwestern Florida. Sam Rosen, the FOX announcer sent to cover this game, made sure to inform readers on multiple occasions that Green Bay has won something like one game in eight trips to Tampa. Will Raymond James Stadium become to Rodgers what the Metrodome (ironically) was to Brett Favre? Once again the Packers’ O-line could not keep Aaron upright, the broken record of the 2009 Packers season. Six more sacks, astoundingly all recorded in the second half of the game, doomed Green Bay to an ignominious loss. Green Bay led or was tied with Tampa for 55 minutes of the game; if only games could be truncated in such a fashion, the Packers might have a dynasty this decade!
• What was the cause of such a breakdown? Surely the porous O-line had something to do with it: watching the second half of the game, I noticed that Aaron Rodgers looked more jittery than any game he’s played in. The fact that a top-10 quarterback is feeling antsy against a winless team who came into the game with 11 total sacks on the year does not bode well moving forward. I understand the Packers are without Jordy Nelson and Jermichael Finley, but those players are merely pieces in substitution packages. If the offensive line cannot do their jobs (which it’s becoming apparent that they cannot), the coaching has to adapt. I saw some pretty successful play-action designs in the second half where at least two or three linebackers drew up to the line, fooled by the motion. So why did these passes fail? A combination of several things: lazy routes by receivers (the least prominent), great coverage by Tampa Bay (semi-prominent), and a lack of confidence by Aaron Rodgers (most prominent). Instead of being a game where wrinkles could be smoothed out, the disaster in Tampa turned up more questions than before.
• Let’s not forget that for a second straight week, the special teams let down the offense. Rodgers had just scored a nifty 12-yard touchdown run on third down to put the Packers up by two scores, and there goes Clifton Smith through a hole, breaking tackles on his way into the red zone. The Buccaneers, owing to special teams and turnovers, had two drives start at the Green Bay 17 or closer; this happened one week after Percy Harvin torched the Packers’ special teams to set up short fields all day for Brett Favre. Tackles are being shirked, angles are being botched, containment is being broken: these problems are endemic to poor practices and a lack of discipline more than anything else. I won’t even speak about the punt block returned for an early touchdown–the blocking assignments were as botched as humanly possible. As for the play of rookie QB Josh Freeman, I thought he did alright. He only completed 14 passes out of 31 attempts, and it’s pretty easy to toss touchdowns when you start drives within the shade of the opponent’s goalposts. But you have to admire the improvisational skills of Freeman. He was harassed by blitzes (too many blitzes, but whatever) and managed to find the soft spot in the pocket and use his receivers’ height advantages.


A warm round of applause for the new all-time rusher in Packers history. Yep, it’s Batman.

• A few bright spots from an otherwise gut-wrenching day: Ryan Grant looked as sharp as he did in the Cleveland game, racking up 96 yards on 21 carries and adding a touchdown; Ahman Green surpassed Jim Taylor as the all-time leading rusher in Green Bay history, which is quite an accomplishment considering the storied history of the franchise; the combined efforts of Green and Grant should have opened up holes in the secondary via play-action, but it didn’t for reasons detailed above; A.J. Hawk had a pretty solid day back in a starter’s role (taking over for the injured Brandon Chillar) and might have had a game-clinching interception were it not for a ticky-tack illegal contact call; James Jones may have solidified his grasp on a tenuous third-receiver role with a 104-yard performance that included a huge 74-yard touchdown on the opening drive of the game.

This man won a Super Bowl. Are you as confused as I?

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH…

If luck is hard work + preparation, then perfection is luck + talent.

The two remaining undefeated teams in the 2009 NFL campaign remained that way this weekend, albeit with a few scares. The Colts beat the Texans 20-17 in what turned from a nap on a cruiseliner into a nailbiter. Indy started the game running a turbo-charged no-huddle offense, snapping the ball with an obscenely low rate of 12-15 seconds after the previous play had ended. The first half ended with Peyton Manning tossing forty (!!) passes including a ridiculous twenty-five in the first quarter alone. Despite the juice flowing, the Colts were only able to put thirteen on the board and led by merely ten points at half. Matt Schaub engineered a few nice drives and had the Texans on top 17-13 before the Colts bounced back with a touchdown of their own. A late Schaub INT plus a close missed FG as the horn expired (Kris Brown’s kick may have been wide by a foot at most) meant there would be no overtime for this thriller.In New Orleans, perhaps the Saints felt a bit of a hangover from their raucous and well-fought win against Atlanta only six nights previous. The Panthers started the game with a pop: DeAngelo Williams scampered 66 yards on the first offensive play for a touchdown. Carolina led 17-3 at half, and vibrations were emitting everywhere from the Deep South that New Orleans could fall for the first time. Not so! said Drew Brees & Co. The opportunistic New Orleans defense (when are they going to get some national publicity?) didn’t grab a pick for the first time this year but forced three fumbles in the second half to push the team to their second come-from-behind win in three weeks. I’ve already spoken volumes about New Orleans’ fantastic balance, so I’ll conclude with this: The Saints (as well as the Colts) should have their divisions wrapped up by Pearl Harbor Day.

Opening statements.
Last week, I predicted the outcomes of what I called the four “Statement Games” of the week: Baltimore/Cincinnati, San Diego/New York Giants, Dallas/Philadelphia, and Pittsburgh/Denver. I got three of them right, whiffing on the Philadelphia pick. I think 3-1 is pretty decent considering that three of the games were divisional matchups (which can be wildly unpredictable owing to the familiarity between players and coaches) and the other was between two teams at the top of the AFC. Cincinnati’s defense looked stifling yet again at home against Baltimore, as the Bengals swept the season series and moved their divisional record to 4-0 (can we just assume they’ll be 5-0 after playing the Browns again?). They’re giving up 16.9 points per game: that’s a number that will win you more games than not.

San Diego sent the Giants spiraling into their bye week with four straight losses. This week’s loss was not, for once, the product of Eli Manning’s poor decision-making. Instead, the lack of a viable running attack weakened further by the injury to Brandon Jacobs made the offense one-dimensional. Philip Rivers doesn’t have Eli’s Super Bowl ring but he does have the ability to engender a sweet comeback drive. Dallas and Philadelphia, well, I don’t know what to say. That game didn’t have a lot of zest and was ultimately decided by a breakdown in the Philly secondary. That was an incredibly sloppy game (19 combined penalties and 3 goofy interceptions) that could have broken either way. And in Denver, we saw what happens when the Broncos get behind and frustrated: Kyle Orton can’t consistently move the ball against top-notch defenses. Again I must stress that they’re a good team but not elite.

Kurt warner giveth, and Kurt Warner taketh away.
Sorry, but I couldn’t resist the Biblical tagline for such a devout man. How about his performance on Sunday? He certainly didn’t look like a man enjoying a day of rest. Instead, he put up some serious Numbers and his passing was the Genesis of a potent Arizona attack. By the time the first half ended, and Warner had thrown four touchdowns (two to Pitt alum Larry Fitzgerald), the Chicago crowd headed in a mass Exodus for the doors. I dont want to be the one who Judges this team too prematurely, but the Cards look like the Kings of the NFC West! And what a Revelation they’ve found in first-round pick Beanie Wells; he and Tim Hightower are a bruising duo who simply get the Job done on the ground.

Uh-oh. Ian just predicted Alex Smith would win a prime-time, nationally-televised game. Let’s hope the Bears defense doesn’t read this blog.

THE NO-HUDDLE…
Chris Chambers may have been a savvy pickup for the Chiefs, but it may have been overlooked on a weekend where Larry Johnson was first suspended and later released; Johnson was only 75 yards from becoming the Chiefs’ version of Ahman Green, the all-time leading rusher…the Jaguars keep winning games on the strength of the Human Pinball, Maurice Jones-Drew, who rolled up 97 tough yards and scored the winning touchdown to help push the Jags to a surprising 4-4 record…I know the Redskins have two wins, but they look about as dysfunctional of a squad as any out there. Now that Chris Cooley and Clinton Portis have suffered injuries, is there any reason to watch this depressing act? The Falcons had no problem dismantling them Sunday…There is no doubt in my mind that the Seahawks-crazy crowd at Qwest Field are deserving of at least two of Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford’s five interceptions. They were raucous…Oh hey, the Patriots won again, smothering a Dolphins offense that seems to only work well against the Jets…Break up the Titans! Chris Johnson spearheaded a rushing attack that scored three touchdowns against a supposedly tough 49ers run defense…

THIRTY SECONDS OF FAME…

The new commercial for the Motorola Blur phone is, all things considered, a pretty entertaining and visually-stimulating ad (it even has Niners coach Mike Singletary!). What boggles my mind is toward the very end of the narrative, where a mysterious enchantress named “Heather” appears in a green tunic top to deliver a very creepy “Hello.” Is she a member of an alien conspiracy trying to impregnate our simple species with pods? Is she suffering the side effects of botox injections? I have no answer for you; you must watch below and decide for yourself.

WHAT I’M WATCHING NEXT WEEK:

I’m gearing up for an AFC North throwdown between the Steelers and Bengals as well as what’s being called by NBC as the “Rivalry of the Decade,” Patriots vs. Colts. Finally, the Eagles look to bounce back out west next week as they take on the Chargers, who look to capitalize on a two-game losing streak by the Broncos and reclaim AFC West supremacy.

SPECIAL THUNDER’S DAY PICK!
(Introducing a new segment in which I pick the winner of the Thursday Night Football game shown on NFL Network; the name comes from the German word for Thursday, “Donnerstag,” which literally translates to Thunder’s Day.)

The NFL Network kicks off their season with the Bears going to the Bay Area to take on the 49ers. Both teams are in a serious rut, but both teams have the potential to put points on the board with their run game. Frank Gore and Matt Forte have their own inconsistencies but are threats to be respected. Jay Cutler’s going to take some chances in the air, and the 49ers defense will probably make him pay for it. QB Alex Smith has the potential to throw for scores through the air, and the Bears defense has just been taking hit after hit. Chicago is falling apart on that side of the ball, and since they’re heading two time zones away on a short week, I’ll take the home team.
49ers by seven.