We are not seeing enough of this man’s impeccable smile! What’s to blame for this catastrophe? See below.

At the dawning of week 6 of the 2009 NFL season, a remarkable nine teams are either undefeated or winless. Stuck right in the middle of mediocrity are the 2-2 Packers, fresh off a much-needed bye week. The Pack has had time to heal their wounds, both literally and figuratively speaking. We can at least say this much: up through January 3rd, we will not have to suffer another Sunday of Packer-less football. Breathe in deeply; inhale the noxious vapors of a green-and-yellow euphoria. The path to climbing out of .500-level Purgatory begins this weekend at home (the first game at Lambeau in a month!) against the cellar-dwelling Lions. To the six-pack!

PACKERS AT LIONS

1. I seem to think this every year, but the bye week couldn’t have come at a more opportune time for the wounded Pack. After getting their hearts ripped out and ground into a fine powder by Brett Favre and Minnesota Favres in week 4, the team needed to recuperate, particularly along the offensive line. As suggested a few weeks ago, Mark Tauscher officially rejoined the team although he will likely not see playing time unless forced into action by injuries. More importantly, Chad Clifton has been practicing all this week and is on track to start on Sunday. That means both Daryn Colledge (filling in at left tackle) can slide back to his natural spot at left guard and Jason Spitz (filling in at left guard) can slide back to center. I won’t belabor the point: a cohesive and communicating O-line is the foundation to a functional offense. If Clifton can’t go, rookie T.J. Lang will likely get the nod. McCarthy doesn’t want to shuffle the line again, the way he had to mid-game against Minnesota. Also returning from injury is starting safety Atari Bigby. Fans of blown coverage and poor angles will bemoan the benching of Derrick Martin, but count Charles Woodson and Al Harris among those who welcome back the hard-hitting and more consistent Bigby.
2. The Lions have had a busy week in the training room, too, albeit without the aid of a bye week. Daunte Culpepper got the nod last week after rookie QB (and winningest Detroit quarterback in over a year!) Matthew Stafford couldn’t make it a go against the Steelers. He practiced this week and will probably start, according to coach Jim Schwartz, although he seems to still be favoring his partially dislocated kneecap. Phenom wide receiver Calvin “Megatron” Johnson has all but been ruled out of action on Sunday, a huge blow to the Lions, who really have no respectable downfield threat without him. Hasn’t that been the recurrent theme in Detroit since the heyday of Herman Moore and Brett Perriman? Take a look at the starting Detroit wide receivers (other than Megatron) from the last eight years: Dennis Northcutt, Bryant Johnson, Shaun McDonald, Mike Furrey, Mike Williams, Roy Williams, Scottie Vines, Az-Zahir Hakim, Tai Streets, Charles Rogers, Bill Schroeder. Only Matt Millen could collect such a stable of busts and uninspiring receivers. You mean to tell me Travis Taylor or Doug Gabriel weren’t available?
   UPDATE: Stafford did not practice Thursday, which suggests that Schwartz (smartly) may be preserving the franchise QB until he is healthy enough to run around on a field. Culpepper would get the start in his place.
3. Another Lion won’t be dressed for this game, starting cornerback Eric King who was placed on the injury reserved list this week. The Lions replaced him with former Steeler Demarcus Faggins, but regardless, you have to think Green Bay will immediately attempt to exploit that weakness. Maybe this week, Aaron Rodgers will stay upright. It’s not as if the Lions exactly have a slew of pass-rushing threats (DE Jason Hunter leads the team with 2 sacks in 5 games) and everyone and their grandmother knows Aaron Rodgers can’t run an offense from his backside. Pass protection has been a point of emphasis in the past week, and a few interesting quotes have emerged regarding the porous line. Aaron Rodgers admitted he may have been holding on to the ball too long on some plays, but ultimately judges he can “play quarterback instinctually, trusting [his] feet, [and] trusting [his] time clock.” This is good and bad to hear: good because you don’t want a quarterback, even the most cerebral, to start overthinking and stop reacting; bad because this means he may be developing a bit of 2006-era Brett Favre, always looking for the downfield throw instead of accepting the checkdown. Greg Jennings, one of those downfield threats whose statistics have diminished, has requested in the most polite ways possible to see the ball more. He concedes: “We need to protect better and Aaron can do some better things. I’m kind of in a bind because he’s getting hit so much. It’s like, what can he do?” Happily (and perhaps surprisingly, given the blame-shifting most NFLers employ), none of the skill players nor the coaches are throwing the offensive line under the bus. It’ll take a cohesive effort to right the ship.
4. Second-year tight end Jermichael Finley spiced things up this week by twittering this week that Green Bay would “crush” the Lions. I haven’t heard any reaction from Lions players about this insinuation, possibly because hours later, Finley wrote a tongue-in-cheek retraction. I’m not one to read too deeply into supposed “grudges” between players and teams and “bulletin-board material” probably can’t add that much motivation to these professional, highly-paid and highly-scrutinized players. What I’m interested in is the character of a guy like Finley, whose cocksure swagger rubbed management the wrong way last year. What changed in two years? Dedication in practice to learning the playbook and results on the field. His impressive touchdown against the Vikings is just a glimpse of what Finley can bring to the offense (note: I’m definitely a believer – I just picked him up in my fantasy league). He may push Donald Lee for the starting job as early as mid-season, although out of deference to Lee’s veteran status on the team and his skills I wouldn’t be surprised if the team simply attempted to employ more two-TE packages. By the way, you too can follow Jermichael on Twitter @JermichaelF88 (you can also follow this blog! @greenbayblog).


Finley tweeted just after this picture was taken: “Nice tackling @cgriffin23 LOL!”

5. Even after the bye week, Green Bay still leads the lead in the inglorious statistic of sacks allowed at 20. Who’s third on that list? Detroit, with 17 sacks allowed. The Packers got no pressure against Favre but I suspect they’ll have better luck this week for several reasons. One, the Minnesota line is simply more athletic than the Detroit line. Two, Green Bay defensive coordinators have had two weeks to prepare schemes, and they’re getting Bigby back in deep coverage, which allows for more creative implementation of linebackers and cornerbacks. Three, (assuming he starts) Culpepper has a tendency to run more than most quarterbacks, a trend that lends itself to more sacks since those QBs will pull the ball down and look for running lanes instead of keeping vision downfield longer. Then again, maybe Culpepper should take a sack instead of attempting another incredibly stupid pass.

6. Here are the NFL standings. You’ll notice at the top of the NFC North, the Vikings are a pristine 5-0 and the Packers are 2-2. A loss to the lowly Lions would prevent any potential gain on Minnesota, who has a 2.5 game lead currently, although it’s a de facto 3.5 game lead with their divisional win over the Packers two weeks ago. While mid-October is wayyyy too early to concede a division, you have to consider it appears that it will take eleven or twelve wins at the minimum to win the NFC North (wow, competitive balance returns to the Great Lakes region!) and already, two teams are above the Packers. Winning games at home and winning the divisional battles are the quickest way to ensuring a playoff spot. While the Lions ended their embarrassing losing streak at 19 games earlier this year against Washington, they’re up against another daunting statistic: 18 straight losses in the state of Wisconsin. The Lions streak of futility stretches across two decades, two different stadiums, and includes a 1994 playoff loss. The fact of the matter is, the Lions have not beaten Green Bay in the Badger State since December 15, 1991. Perspective: the first George Bush was still president on that date. Sorry to say, fans of the Motor City Kitties, but that shameful streak is likely to continue Sunday.
   Prediction: Packers by ten.
   
   
   The Lions haven’t won in Wisconsin since this guy was receiving handoffs from the likes of Erik Kramer and Rodney Peete (it’s true!).

WEEK SIX PREDICTIONS

TEXANS AT BENGALS
Houston can’t run the ball. Cincinnati’s Cedric Benson leads the league in rushing attempts and yardage and second in yards per game. Houston’s strength is passing. Cincy has given up 5 passing touchdowns in 5 games. Houston is 2-3 and coming off a deflating road loss. Cincy is 4-1, leading the division after having knocked off both Pittsburgh and Baltimore. So why do I get the feeling this game will yet again be decided by a late Bengals drive?
Bengals by three.

RAMS AT JAGUARS
The most “interesting” sort of “story” that I as a “journalist” can dredge up for this “game” is that Torry Holt will face his former team for the first time. Fun fact that makes fantasy owners of Stephen Jackson bludgeon themselves: Jackson is 4th in the league in rushing yet has precisely 0 touchdowns this year. But hey, Marc Bulger’s back, which means the Rams will only lose by one touchdown instead of three. The immediate future is grim for the Rams, but fans can take solace in three things: 1) Rush Limbaugh has been ousted as a potential minority owner; 2) Despite being on the hook for a bloated contract for Bulger, you’ll more than likely have a top-5 pick in a draft supposedly loaded with young, talented QBs to develop; and 3) At least you’ve won a Super Bowl in the last decade in a half and aren’t rumored for relocation every other week like the other team on the field. Holy crap, I’ve written way too much about Rams/Jaguars.
Jaguars by six.

RAVENS AT VIKINGS
Do you hear that? It’s a slow rumbling rising from the depths of the earth, like a bulldozer pummeling through bedrock beneath your feet. That’s right: it’s the UPSET SPECIAL of the week! Am I nuts picking against Minnesota at home with all their talent against a Baltimore team that has lost two straight? Hell no! Brett Favre has only started 5-0 once in his lifetime — this year. I don’t care what he says about the talent level of his team (actually, I do, but it’s a story for another week), the man simply gets the jitters a couple times a year. I’ve heard pundits say how suspect Baltimore’s secondary is and I say that Ed Reed doesn’t like the way you doubt him. Ed Reed is going to have a thing or two to say about Brett Favre tossing into double coverage.
Ravens by seven.


It’s no coincidence Ed Reed wears Brian Dawkins’ #20: both make it a habit to intercept Favre whenever convenient.

GIANTS AT SAINTS
Funny how life works out. In 2005, displaced by Hurricane Katrina, the Saints played all their games on the road. Their “home opener” against the Giants was moved to New York, where they subsequently lost. A year later, the Giants and Saints were again scheduled to meet, again in New York. Instead of righting a wrong (Giants receiving a 9th home game while the Saints had 7), the league let things remain as they were. The Giants subsequently lost that game. In October 2009, New York is being besieged by a series of dreadful rain/snowstorms threatening, among other things, to push the interminable baseball playoffs into November. Luckily for the Giants, they’re out of town this week. In New Orleans. Playing under the very dome that forced the Saints to become a traveling pack of troubadours four years ago. Drew Brees has had a bye week to figure out why he’s not thrown a touchdown in his last two games. Eli Manning has dealt with a heel injury by playing against patsies the last three weeks (Bucs, Chiefs, Raiders: combined record of 1-14). Fate shall smile upon thee, New Orleans, and it shall say bonne nuit to the Giants’ undefeated season.
Saints by nine.

BROWNS AT STEELERS
Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers simply own Cleveland. It certainly does not help matters that Brady Quinn is the subject of trade rumors, or that Eric Mangini described last week’s game that one news sourced dubbed the “better of two awfuls” as “beautiful” and “great” and that he “couldn’t be happier.” Nothing like lowered expectations to really rev up that fan base! The Steelers did lose DE Aaron Smith for the year due to a torn rotator cuff, but luckily they have a bye this week before facing Minnesota next week.
Steelers by fourteen.

PANTHERS AT BUCCANEERS
This week on FOX NFL Sunday: Jake Delhomme and Josh Johnson try to limit turnovers by kneeling down on every snap! Yikes. I hope people in the Carolina and Tampa areas have the NFL Red Zone channel, because this game is going to be a lesson in patience. As in, waiting for the first snap that isn’t marred by poor play, or penalties, or silly replay challenges, or Jake Delhomme’s vacant, zombie-like stare into the upper decks that threatens to absorb all our souls if we cannot break its fatal grip. Look away, television viewers, for your own sake!
Buccaneers by three. (???)

CHIEFS AT REDSKINS
Damn it! Out of the proverbial frying pan and right into the fire of even worse football. Supposedly Jim Zorn’s job as Redskins coach is suddenly on the line, with hints that he may even get fired during the team’s bye. How did Zorn not see this coming from the notoriously fickle Dan Snyder? DC was treated to one miraculous outcome this week. Beating the Chiefs won’t be the sequel. This is what happens when two teams with Native American monikers try to play football.
Chiefs by four.

EAGLES AT RAIDERS
The last four weeks, JaMarcus Russell has put in these totals for passing yardage: 109, 61, 128, 100 for an aggregate total of 398 yards. He has also thrown 1 touchdown in five games. Kevin Kolb, the current backup to Donovan McNabb, put up 391 yards and tossed two touchdowns in one game earlier this year. At this point, I have no idea why any player drafted by the Raiders doesn’t throw his hands up in the air and immediately announce a year-long holdout. There’s simply no way around it – the Raiders are the Clippers of the NFL.
Eagles by thirteen.


That Jamarcus Russell sure plays like a number two.

CARDINALS AT SEAHAWKS
The Niners’ stumbles have left the door open for the Cardinals to repeat their NFC West crown or for the Seahawks to reclaim it after years of dominance in the division. I love Seattle home games: the crowd is raucous and makes a difference, the weather is usually prime for sloppy-turf games (the best kind), and you get all those intro-montages of sweet Seattle scenes from Pike Place Market, the Puget Sound, the Cascades, and the Space Needle, sometimes set to the tune of Soundgarden’s “Spoonman.” October is the heart of monsoon season in the Pacific Northwest — expect this game to be lower scoring than what it might appear on paper (and if games appeared on paper, they wouldn’t be very exciting to witness). Matt Hasselbeck has returned from his injury, and I say his play plus and inspired Seattle crowd makes the difference.
Seahawks by two.

TITANS AT PATRIOTS
Well, this is easy. The Titans are terrible; the Patriots are not. Coach Jeff Fisher might have to swallow hard in the next few weeks and reinsert Vince Young into the lineup, at the very least to see what he has going on at backup. It won’t work as a save-my-job move – Titans ownership will decide whether or not to bring back Jeff Fisher, the longest-tenured coach in the NFL, on merits extending beyond quarterback play – yet it will serve to see if Young is salvageable as a starting QB or if the team needs to look to the draft. Much like the Rams, the Titans should have a top-5 pick in a draft class saturated with signal-callers. Tennessee fans still trying to fathom their drop from 13-3 and top overall seed in the AFC to bottom-dweller need to get savvy — this team is going nowhere. The Pats, on the other hand, were bested last week in part because Brady and his receivers still seem to be a touch out of synch. This is the kind of thing that the cognitively-endowed Bill Belichick will harp on in practice, and Tom Brady will lead the way. The Patriots dynasty may be operating slower than usual, but it’s far from dead.
Patriots by fourteen.

BILLS AT JETS
The Bills are in chaos. Their no-huddle offense is more like a no-scoring offense. T.O. is the subject of trade rumors (no kidding!) and has been essentially invisible. The return of Marshawn Lynch after a three-week suspension did little to add balance to the offense. The Jets are also in a tailspin, albeit a more manageable one. Braylon Edwards looks reinvigorated paired up with Mark Sanchez, and I love the one-two punch of Thomas Jones and Leon Washington. Reminds me a bit of the Lightning and Thunder days of Tiki Barber and Ron Dayne on the Giants. This shouldn’t be much of a struggle for a decent Jets team.
Jets by ten.

BEARS AT FALCONS (8:20 PM, SNF, NBC)
This is a matchup between two of my favorite animals (if the Sharks somehow play the T-Rexes, that might challenge this one). In the animal kingdom, who would you pick to win a fight between a bear and a falcon? Obviously the bear has the massive girth, the fearsome jaws and claws, and potentially the ability to climb trees (only black bears, not grizzlies). But a falcon has the speed advantage and can obviously fly away in the event of danger. This is just as grueling to think about as trying to pick a winner in the NFL matchup. I mean, the Falcons are at home coming off an impressive victory at San Francisco, but the Bears seem to have rediscovered their running game and if Jay Cutler — uh, wait a second. I’m never relying on Jay Cutler.
Falcons by six.


It only seems like he can grow wings and fly over defenses. The talons, though…those are the real deal.

BRONCOS AT CHARGERS
Kyle Orton, sans neck beard (oh, it’ll happen come December), has guided the Broncos to a 5-0 record and the respect of millions of NFL fans. After they jumped to a 3-0 start, besting the Bengals, Browns, and Raiders, it was easy to discount Denver as a flash in the pan. “Wait until their schedule gets tougher, then they’ll fall apart,” pundits cried. All Denver managed to do was beat Dallas and New England in back-to-back home games. Now they take their spotless record to San Diego, the biggest threat to the AFC West title. LaDanian Tomlinson has been a shell of his former MVP self, Philip Rivers can only do so much, the 3-4 defense is falling apart at the seams due to injuries, and Norv Turner still plays a far bigger role in the franchise than he should (note: any portion above 0% is too much for Norv). So why do I get the feeling Denver will stumble here? Because in divisional games, regression to the mean is the norm. That doesn’t totally make sense, and neither does my pick, but screw it, this is my blog.
Chargers by three.

BYE WEEK BITES

Dolphins: They’re spending the week pretending Chad Henne is a legitimate quarterback. Yeah, he looked good in front of a national audience Monday Night, but let’s give credit where credit is due: coach Tony Sparano. He looks more like a Red Lobster manager than a football coach, but he designed the right plays to get the ball out of Henne’s hands quickly, established the misdirection run game, and used play action effectively. The Dolphins are no better than a 7-9 team, but for now, Miami is riding high.

Colts: Peyton Manning will throw for 350 yards and 3 touchdowns on the bye week. That’s how good he is.

Cowboys: Are Dallas fans really excited about this team? I mean, they beat Tampa (woo!) and they beat Carolina (woo!!) and they beat Kansas City in overtime (double woo!). Meanwhile, they got dismantled by two teams that matter, the Broncos and the Giants. Miles Austin can’t bail out a sputtering team every game, can he? I predict this is the beginning of the end for Tony Romo, who has gotten way, way too much press for what he truly is — a slightly above-average quarterback who’s never won a playoff game.

49ers: Mike Singletary drops his pants, removes his shirt, and showers in front of the 53-man roster to make a point, only nobody can figure out what the hell it could possibly mean. The defense needs to right the ship ASAP because that offense, even with Frank Gore returning, isn’t strong enough to play catchup.

Last week: 10-4
Overall: 52-24
Upset Special: 2-3