Derek Anderson collapses with surprise when told of his quarterback rating.

Hey there, football fanatics. I just got in from Cleveland about 24 hours ago (don’t let anyone tell you route 80 is a quick, fun path through Northern Pennsylvania – the construction made the travel abysmal) and have much to discuss with you. It wasn’t the prettiest weekend of play we’ve had this year but boy, was it a pretty weekend to be outdoors. Even northern Ohio, that bastion of greyness and drizzle, greeted the Browns and Packers Sunday with temperatures in the high 50’s and a great deal of sunshine. That’s unheard of for October in the Great Lakes region! Enough meteorology – let’s get to some NFL recaps.

WHAT I’M STILL PONDERING A DAY LATER…

• I had a great time at Browns Stadium on Sunday. The beer was cold, the french fries were crispy and heavily-salted, and the Packers absolutely demolished the Brownies. Walking down Euclid Avenue, a few Cleveland fans spotted my cheesehead and proceeded to guess roughly how badly their team would lose. “You never know what could happen,” I offered. “Yes, I do,” one man gruffly suggested. “I have 45 years to back me up.” Aren’t Clevelanders great? Now that Boston and Philadelphia have won things, it’s time to turn our attention to Cleveland and Buffalo and pity them a little more. One drunk fan in the section below mine removed his shirt after the Browns fell behind 21-3 and bellowed, “Cleveland! Drew Carey!” and fell into a deep, awkward silence. Lusty boos accompanied every Derek Anderson overthrow, underthrow, sack, or breath. Even the chants of “BRA-DY! BRA-DY!” seemed couched in anger and regret coated with a thick layer of malaise. I’ll say it again: aren’t Clevelanders great?
• Every facet of the Packers’ game plan worked to near-perfection. Rodgers was hardly harassed and didn’t accrue a single sack for the first time this year (he was nearly sacked at one point but managed to fall forward for a 1-yard gain). Ryan Grant had a season high in yardage with 145 and earned a tough second-quarter touchdown. The defense held the Browns to a single field goal – which, by the way, doinked off the left upright and in from the incredible distance of 22 yards – and forced two turnovers. Hell, you know it’s going your way when your punter takes the field for the first time midway through the fourth quarter. Matt Flynn even made an appearance and got some nice applause from my fellow Packer Backers sitting in the upper bowl. I suppose the worst aspect of the game would be the injuries accrued. Second-year stud Jermichael Finley left early after suffering an ankle injury. He probably won’t be ready to go next week. Brett Swain, thrust into the role of 4th WR with Jordy Nelson nursing his own injuries, will miss the rest of the year after hurting his leg.
• Good god, is Derek Anderson awful or what? On several occasions, I watched an open receiver trail off his route because the ball had sailed a good ten yards over his head. He made several poor decisions regarding throwing into coverage or tossing it to the checkdown too early. After completing his first five passes, the wheels fell off for “DA,” and quickly. The second-quarter interception thrown to Charles Woodson was a definite head-scratcher. It didn’t help matters that the Browns had no threatening run game–the Packers were often stuffing the box with Atari Bigby crashing the line and Nick Collins playing center field. Green Bay clearly felt confident leaving Collins, Woodson, and Al Harris out in space and letting seven or eight men play around the line of scrimmage. Jamal Lewis and Jerome Harrison just aren’t going to cut it. The Packers D played with excellent gap discipline and solid fundamental tackling.
• This game coupled with last week’s affair with the Lions means Green Bay has a two-week points forced/points allowed spread of 57-3. That’s an incredible fortnight of football, I don’t care who you are or who you’re playing. After getting shellacked in Minneapolis, the team needed to get their train rolling again with some confident football. A bye week and two soft opponents have allowed the Pack to feel pretty good about themselves, and I scoff at those who think this won’t have positive effects on the team. The offensive line developed some nice chemistry, even if backups T.J. Lang and Scott Wells started. Ryan Grant looked decisive, making his one cut and turning upfield. His legs churned and he seemed to pick up the majority of his yards after first contact. This bodes well for a future balanced attack. The team is now 4-2, second in the division, and a win next week would put them only a half-game out of first.

  
  Turns out all Ryan Grant needed to motivate him was for the team to sign Ahman Green to push for the starting job. Uh, Ryan…

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE RANCH…

For the love of God, don’t make us play football!
An uncanny number of games this past week were atrocious blowouts. I feel bad for anyone who set up fort on the couch and planned to absorb a weekend of competitive football. Out of the thirteen games, only two were settled by one score. Seven of the twenty-six teams (over one-quarter) failed to score more than ten points. Only two teams managed to turn a halftime deficit into a comeback. This did not make for riveting television, and I have no easy explanation as to why this happened, only that it’s endemic of a trend where the crappy, crappy teams are being matched up against the quality teams early in the season. Teams who favor the pass (Indianapolis, New Orleans, New England) have had relatively good weather in which to play – that uncanny performance by Tom Brady in a Nor’easter two weeks ago notwithstanding – and injuries have begun to pile up but have yet to reach their apex. I don’t know if it means much, but half of the sixteen games were inter-conference matchups, and the AFC won six of eight. Only Green Bay’s drubbing of the Browns and the Saints fun comeback saved the senior circuit from an embarrassing whitewash.

Don’t make Drew angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.
Turns out, you don’t want to make Ricky Williams angry, either. Because when that happens, he is definitely reaching for his “special medicine” to chill himself out and like, it totally helps his field vision, man. Sticky Ricky ran for nearly nine yards a carry and had three touchdowns. Didn’t matter. Even with three interceptions, Drew Brees helped will the undefeated Saints to yet another victory, this one in a hostile environment with the odds against them. Down ten points going into the final frame, New Orleans tacked on 22 to the scoreboard and Brees didn’t even throw for a score in the fourth! No one’s going to call the Saints a defensively-oriented or run-oriented team, but I’ve been warning readers for months that this squad is as balanced as it has been for decades. It can pass, run, defend, cause turnovers, play in a dome or on the road against any level of competition. The Saints are super-legit.

“Let me into your brain! I must find out what makes a man date a Kardashian!”

“Fair” is not part of a quarterback’s vocabulary.
So, Shaun Hill wins the first three games of the year for the 49ers including two divisional games. He loses his next three and gets benched at halftime of the fourth for Alex Smith, who has never done anything to back up his lofty status as the first overall pick of the 2005 draft (incidentally, current Green Bay coach Mike McCarthy was on the San Francisco staff that chose Smith over Aaron Rodgers, who slid to the Packers at 24). Smith did toss three second-half touchdowns to Vernon Davis but ended up tossing the game-clinching interception with less than a minute remaining. Meanwhile, Jake Delhomme still has the starting job with 13 interceptions. Jay Cutler has thrown 11 INTs but gets a massive extension from the Bears. Derek Anderson – and I hate to pile on, but it’s necessary – has the worst QB rating of any starter but will not get benched frankly because the Browns organization does not want to pay Brady Quinn a bonus for starting six games this season. Hell, even Bruce Gradkowski got playing time this weekend (see, Raiders fans? It is possible to get worse than Jamarcus Russell…barely).

THE NO-HUDDLE
I’m cutting right to this bit because frankly, I didn’t do a whole lot of television watching this weekend. I’m sure you can forgive me…Fly, Eagles, fly: you beat up a crappy Redskins team on the road, but you did it with the kind of explosive plays that only come around when your team is firing on all cylinders. Will Witherspoon already looks like a sweet deadline pickup…I don’t know how it’s possible, but the Cowboys have in Tony Romo the NFL’s third-best quarterback in terms of QB rating behind only Steve Young and Peyton Manning…Hey, Vikings! Get used to Favre blowing fourth quarters as much as he has won them for you. It’s a package deal, and an opportunistic Steelers defense wasn’t going to let him get away with careless play (although the INT wasn’t totally Favre’s fault, that fumble was the result of either stupidity or arrogance)…So much for England enjoying our version of the sport: the Patriots disassembled an overmatched Buccaneers squad making it the third straight year Wembley Stadium has housed a dud…

“Doesn’t this London fog just sap all the energy out of you? Nope, just me? Weird.”

30 SECONDS OF FAME
Watch here as Jameson brand whiskey concocts a beautifully understated, dramatic, and hilarious ad extolling the namesake of their delicious beverage. It’s one-third sea myth, one-third hagiography, and one-third hilarity. I first saw this commercial on a recorded show and stopped what I was doing to rewind and watch a second and third time. That’s damn good marketing if you can make me voluntarily watch your ads instead of inundating my senses every commercial break.

WHAT I’M WATCHING NEXT WEEK:
You mean besides Favre vs. Green Bay at Lambeau? Well, how about a double dose of I-95 hatred as the Eagles host the Giants at 1 PM and game 4 of the World Series starts across the parking lot at 8 PM. What I’m definitely not watching? Rams @ Lions in what could be the only game worse than contracting swine flu from attending a Sarah Palin book-signing.